Skitzo's Public Page-Skitzo #2

Administered by Hal "Skitzo" Waterhouse

"Visitation Day"- the Skit!
By Welshman

Props: Very large Squirt guns of the "water bottle" type, most popular now.
Costumes: Space-types obviously….

ALIEN ONE: (to the Worship Team Leader ) Take us to your leader!
Worship Team Leader: Well, I’m the leader right now! And right now I’m leaving! (he exits stage, in a hurry)
ALIEN ONE: (incredulous, speaking to TWO) He’s the leader?
ALIEN TWO: If he’s their leader, what will the rest of these earthmen be like? (indicates the audience)
ALIEN ONE: I don’t know, but it doesn’t look like we’ll get much help in the invasion.
ALIEN TWO: Well, we can’t do it alone, we’ll have to have their help.
ALIEN ONE: But look at ‘em…. They don’t look alive enough to carry out an invasion! They look like that Al Gore guy we ran into the last time!
ALIEN TWO: (draws back in revulsion) Eeuww! They DO look more like robots than earth people. Let’s give them a shot of enthusiasm with our emotion guns and see what happens.
(Both spray audience -lightly- with their squirt guns)
ALIEN ONE: Look at ‘em now…. I think it helped a little!
ALIEN TWO: I hope so… There’s a lot to be done. But we had better check our plans and see if we have everything straight.
ALIEN ONE: All right …. The invasion is-
ALIEN TWO: (gives the date of the event)
ALIEN ONE: Time?
ALIEN TWO: (gives the time of event)
ALIEN ONE: Staging Area?
ALIEN TWO: (gives place of meeting)
Alien One: Invasion coordinates?
ALIEN TWO: An area bordered by your earth streets_______ , in the town of ______-- (sound very space-military with the boundaries of the visitation area).
ALIEN ONE: Maps all prepared?
ALIEN TWO: Check!
ALIEN ONE: Invasion materials ready?
ALIEN TWO: Double check!
ALIEN ONE: Good, I think that’s everything!
ALIEN TWO: How many of these earth people will we need?
ALIEN ONE: The more we have the better but we would like to have at least (x amount).
ALIEN TWO: Do you think we should tell them now?
ALIEN ONE: Right, then! (Turns to the audience and speaks very slowly) People of (Church name)! Those of you who will join the invasion of (town) will meet here at (time) for your combat briefing. We need your help!
ALIEN TWO: They seem to understand all right. But let’s give them another shot of enthusiasm with our emotion ray guns.
ALIEN ONE: Good idea!
(Both spray audience -lightly- again.)
ALIEN TWO: Well, that’s all we can do for them now. I hope they will join us and make the invasion a success.
ALIEN ONE: I do too! Now let’s beam out and be sure everything else is ready!
ALIEN TWO: Right! (Flips open his wallet in an imitation of Star Trek) Two to beam up! (looks puzzled) Two to beam up! (Looks at ONE) Ohh, noo NOT Again!
ALIEN ONE:: (Dejectedly) Looks like we’ll have to walk…..
ALIEN TWO: Nuts!
(They look at each other obviously discouraged…. Then they both get grins on their faces. They both have the same crazy idea… They crouch down, giving the audience a chance to figure out what’s going to happen! They both start spraying each other as they joyfully leave the room in a crazy, ENTHUSIASTIC squirt gun fight.)
FINI